Many of us have an inner voice, and that voice is not always nice to us. Growing up you learnt how to treat yourself from those around you, your father might have told you to work harder, your teachers could have told you that you were too quiet, you might mirror the negative self-image your mother had towards herself - where ever you learnt to interpret these experiences to become your own dialogue, you have the power to change this inner dialogue.
I am actually currently writing an entire book based on this process, of where and why you adapted these beliefs and how to fully undo this type of thinking and the behaviour that comes along with it. While you’re waiting for the book, there are still tools you can use to serve yourself.
You have the power to change these negative statements about yourself, into positive, powerful affirmations. Here’s how.
Write down some of the most painful negative thoughts you have about yourself. The things you say to yourself that you wouldn’t dream say out loud to someone else. Don’t filter what you’re saying to try and fit this exercise, just get it all down on paper. This will also serve as a cathartic release.
Once you have your thoughts and feelings written down about yourself, you can now being to transform these into something positive. Yes “you’re fucking useless” CAN become something self-affirming and uplifting.
Some people think you have to jump to the opposite end of the scale of this, but if you’re in a place of thinking that you are completely fucking useless, saying that you are wonderful perfect being will push you furtheraway from feeling good. This is known as toxic positivity. When you make positive statements and affirmations from a place of despair, it makes you feel even worse because you couldn’t feel any further away from that! If you are not in alignment with who you really are, which is one that is indeed worthy, you will not resonate with something that is so positive about yourself.
SO, let’s stay with this example. You want to feel good about yourself, but by thinking that you’re useless, you can’t get there from there. You have to make stepping stones to that point, and move on from each step when you feel you are ready to. Let’s follow this flow:
I feel fucking useless
I feel like I could be doing more
I could be doing more but I don’t feel like it
I want to do more, but I don’t know how
I can do more, I’m just not sure how to
I can do more when I feel ready to
When I feel ready it will feel good
I want to feel good
I can feel good
I am ready to feel better
I am deserving of feeling better
I have felt better than this before
And I will feel better than this again
I am feeling better
I am letting myself feel good
I deserve to feel good
See how we got there? You cannot get from misery straight into bright positivity. It takes honesty, and simple truthful steps to move through your emotions to find yourself back into alignment. You can take each negative thought and slowly transform it in this way, and naturally evolve into a positive affirmation. I would recommend doing this with one statement each day, and at the end of a week, burn the original piece of paper full of all your negative feelings as way of releasing it to the universe. Burning is also one of my favourite ways of letting go, as it feels completely liberating and bloody brilliant.
I hope this has been of service to you, and if you would like further guidance and support, get in contact to book your own 1:1 session or recorded reading.
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